Monday, February 16, 2009
How's that?
So my hubby was having a little fun with our very special 7-y-o daughter Mozy. She was bearing her testimony in her own karaoke microphone. Then she was saying "I love you" to him, and then he took turns with her. It became a game of one-uppance and he said, "I love you oodles and gobs!" Mozelle answered, "I love you NOODLES and DOGS!"
Saturday, February 14, 2009
The Emotional Roller Coaster, Part I
Thursday, January, 8 2009
Peed on a stick. Hubby said "Looks like a nnnnnnnnnegative?"
I looked. Two lines. "No, that's a positive. [Moan.] I was not ready to know that."
I researched midwives and doctors. Made an appointment, midwife canceled because she was at a birth, I made another appointment with a doctor, went to the clinic and paid $25 to pee in their cup, learned more about the relative costs of delivering at different hospitals, canceled appointment, called another doctor, and made another appointment.
As this first prenatal visit loomed, I got a little bit excited. Also nauseous. I was dealing with the roller coaster ride of having a child in drug rehab, and I was so confused about how to pick the right care provider for this pregnancy, and I would cry . . . and take lots of naps . . . and worry about whether I should really exercise.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
After hesitating and procrastinating for weeks, we finally tell the children. There are already 6 of them, so we might as well have held a press conference with the Associated Press and CNN. Instead, it went more like this:
Daddy tells Louella (3). She says "I went pee. I want candy."
Daddy tells Mozelle (7) while we're eating lunch at a Mexican restaurant. Mozy tells the waiters that I'm having a baby. Mozy tells her big brother Bob when we pick him up at school that I'm having a baby. Bob (16) looks at me in disbelief. I confirm with a smile. He gets belligerent. I ask Mozy to keep quiet about the baby. I drop Bob off at outpatient group therapy, and then finally Mozy gets to talk again about the baby. We go home, and I get the camera ready, and Mozy tells Jolie on video that I'm having a baby. Jolie (12) gets excited and has questions. Noelle (9) comes home from school, and Jolie tells Noelle on camera (game-show-style) that I'm having a baby. Noelle goes NUTS! Jack (18) comes home from work and Noelle tells Jack on camera (game-show-style) that I'm having a baby. Jack nearly posts the news on Facebook, until I politely ask him not to, as I have not yet shared the news with my parents.
Thursday February 5, 2009
Dropping the girls off at my folks' house before heading off to a parents' support group meeting, I enter their living room as Mozelle tells GrandDad that I'm having a baby. GrandDad looks at me in disbelief. I say, "Guess what?!" GrandDad calls Gram into the room. I tell them both that we are having a baby in mid-September. GrandDad says, "You're 40 years old!" I say, "Yep, and I'll be 41 when I deliver this baby."
Friday February 6, 2009
I take Louella with me to see the OB/gyn. Fill out papers, wait to be called, get weighed, pee in a cup, have blood pressure measured. Nurse says the pregnancy test is positive. I say, "Yeah, I'd hate to feel like this if I weren't having a baby."
I get undressed, meet the doctor. Ultrasound shows nothing but placenta. Doctor says "blighted ovum blah blah blah" and I get to learn more about reproduction. I am relieved that I will get to take some pain relievers now for this crazy headache I've had for over 24 hours.
I get dressed and explain to Louella that there's no baby inside my belly after all. We go into doctor's personal office, where we discuss things like further ultrasounds, D & C procedures, prescriptions for pain medications, and follow-up appointments.
We go to the front desk to check out, where we get a sucker for Louella. I get to make follow-up appointments (3 of them, because the scheduler cannot read the doctor's handwriting!), and I get to pay $25 as co-payment for this lovely experience.
Louella and I head down to the hospital registration department to get ready for a more high-tech ultrasound. It takes a half-mile hike, filling out paperwork twice, and four helpful and polite hospital workers.
While waiting, I try to get Louella to use the bathroom. She is steadfast in her need for only food and water, not for a toilet. I tell her that she has to hold still during the ultrasound. We do a lot of waiting and I do a lot of praying.
The hospital sound system blares loudly the lullaby tune that signals a newborn's arrival three or four times before I get to have my fancy shmancy ultrasound that gives me no more hope than the first one had.
We leave the hospital but not without getting some lunch first. Louella and I eat a turkey sandwich, a fruit salad, and quite a bit of pudding on our way home.
Peed on a stick. Hubby said "Looks like a nnnnnnnnnegative?"
I looked. Two lines. "No, that's a positive. [Moan.] I was not ready to know that."
I researched midwives and doctors. Made an appointment, midwife canceled because she was at a birth, I made another appointment with a doctor, went to the clinic and paid $25 to pee in their cup, learned more about the relative costs of delivering at different hospitals, canceled appointment, called another doctor, and made another appointment.
As this first prenatal visit loomed, I got a little bit excited. Also nauseous. I was dealing with the roller coaster ride of having a child in drug rehab, and I was so confused about how to pick the right care provider for this pregnancy, and I would cry . . . and take lots of naps . . . and worry about whether I should really exercise.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
After hesitating and procrastinating for weeks, we finally tell the children. There are already 6 of them, so we might as well have held a press conference with the Associated Press and CNN. Instead, it went more like this:
Daddy tells Louella (3). She says "I went pee. I want candy."
Daddy tells Mozelle (7) while we're eating lunch at a Mexican restaurant. Mozy tells the waiters that I'm having a baby. Mozy tells her big brother Bob when we pick him up at school that I'm having a baby. Bob (16) looks at me in disbelief. I confirm with a smile. He gets belligerent. I ask Mozy to keep quiet about the baby. I drop Bob off at outpatient group therapy, and then finally Mozy gets to talk again about the baby. We go home, and I get the camera ready, and Mozy tells Jolie on video that I'm having a baby. Jolie (12) gets excited and has questions. Noelle (9) comes home from school, and Jolie tells Noelle on camera (game-show-style) that I'm having a baby. Noelle goes NUTS! Jack (18) comes home from work and Noelle tells Jack on camera (game-show-style) that I'm having a baby. Jack nearly posts the news on Facebook, until I politely ask him not to, as I have not yet shared the news with my parents.
Thursday February 5, 2009
Dropping the girls off at my folks' house before heading off to a parents' support group meeting, I enter their living room as Mozelle tells GrandDad that I'm having a baby. GrandDad looks at me in disbelief. I say, "Guess what?!" GrandDad calls Gram into the room. I tell them both that we are having a baby in mid-September. GrandDad says, "You're 40 years old!" I say, "Yep, and I'll be 41 when I deliver this baby."
Friday February 6, 2009
I take Louella with me to see the OB/gyn. Fill out papers, wait to be called, get weighed, pee in a cup, have blood pressure measured. Nurse says the pregnancy test is positive. I say, "Yeah, I'd hate to feel like this if I weren't having a baby."
I get undressed, meet the doctor. Ultrasound shows nothing but placenta. Doctor says "blighted ovum blah blah blah" and I get to learn more about reproduction. I am relieved that I will get to take some pain relievers now for this crazy headache I've had for over 24 hours.
I get dressed and explain to Louella that there's no baby inside my belly after all. We go into doctor's personal office, where we discuss things like further ultrasounds, D & C procedures, prescriptions for pain medications, and follow-up appointments.
We go to the front desk to check out, where we get a sucker for Louella. I get to make follow-up appointments (3 of them, because the scheduler cannot read the doctor's handwriting!), and I get to pay $25 as co-payment for this lovely experience.
Louella and I head down to the hospital registration department to get ready for a more high-tech ultrasound. It takes a half-mile hike, filling out paperwork twice, and four helpful and polite hospital workers.
While waiting, I try to get Louella to use the bathroom. She is steadfast in her need for only food and water, not for a toilet. I tell her that she has to hold still during the ultrasound. We do a lot of waiting and I do a lot of praying.
The hospital sound system blares loudly the lullaby tune that signals a newborn's arrival three or four times before I get to have my fancy shmancy ultrasound that gives me no more hope than the first one had.
We leave the hospital but not without getting some lunch first. Louella and I eat a turkey sandwich, a fruit salad, and quite a bit of pudding on our way home.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
I lived in Heaven
"I was with Jesus, and my mom got a new child, me!"--Louella, age 3
I love these precious moments of truth out of the mouths of babes.
I love these precious moments of truth out of the mouths of babes.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
I Feel LOVED
I was tucking my youngest daughters into bed the other night, when my youngest asked me to sleep in her bed. I was glad to get off my feet for a few minutes. I lay down and she snuggled right up next to me and said, "I love you, Big Fat Mommy!" and then she growled.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Like Father Like Son: FAILURE
Like Father Like Son: FAILURE
I really like this post because, well for one thing, it's funny! And also because I've been thinking a lot lately about how I have felt that I have a habit of failing. I'm not sure that's the best way to put it, but I want to learn the behaviors of successful people. Anyway.
I really like this post because, well for one thing, it's funny! And also because I've been thinking a lot lately about how I have felt that I have a habit of failing. I'm not sure that's the best way to put it, but I want to learn the behaviors of successful people. Anyway.
Count Your Blessings
Recently I was invited to sing with a quartet of ladies who have grown up in my hometown for the most part, and who all belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We were to sing at a celebration of the 30-year anniversary of our meetinghouse. Our congregation here in this town has grown in the last 3 decades so much! We were a branch when my family moved here way back in 1975. Meetings were held (lots of meetings, all the time!) in a little duplex right by the railroad tracks, not far from the local high school. Fifteen years later, we had a stake!
We chose to sing "Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel", a favorite old hymn that reminds us of those early days when we were younger, and when perhaps our pianist only knew a few numbers. But I was thinking about what hymns I remember singing, and I suddenly remembered we ALWAYS used to sing, "Count Your Blessings", which begins with the phrase "When upon life's billows". I love that hymn!
I'm struggling to accept my circumstances lately. I'm tempted to think that 30 years after the groundbreaking for our chapel, I'm 40 yrs old, and 50 lbs overweight, and I wonder if I'm earning a 60% grade on my life . . . so I think it's time to count my blessings, or some of them, anyway:
1. I'm grateful to be the firstborn. This ensured my position as favorite ;)
2. I'm grateful to have been born of 2 goodly parents, taught somewhat according to the learning of my parents, and enriched by the teachings they encountered later.
3. I'm grateful that when I was 3, my parents joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Grateful to those dedicated missionaries and Flo Agee, our sweet neighbor, who knew the Truth.
4. I'm grateful that when I was 4, we were sealed in the Salt Lake City Temple.
5. I'm grateful that at the age of 5, I started attending school, a private kindergarten held in the home of my teacher, Mrs. Harris. I already knew how to read, thanks to #2.
6. I'm grateful to be one of 6 blessed children of our parents.
7. I'm grateful we moved to our hometown when I was almost 7 years old.
8. I'm grateful to have been baptized and to have received the gift of the Holy Ghost when I was 8 years old.
9. I'm grateful to have had fabulous gospel teachers, such as Esther Peterson. I loved the scripture chases, and memorizing Bible verses. Sister Peterson encouraged us to pick our own favorite verses. I chose Matthew 7:7 when I was 8 or 9 years old. Thanks Dad (Sunday School President)for making sure I got to have Sis. Peterson as my teacher for 2 years in a row :)
10. I'm grateful to have had wonderful school teachers, like Mrs. Hicks, Pearson, Longtain, Greer, Kohlmaier and Franer.
11. I'm grateful to have taken lots of lessons in dance and piano from wonderful teachers like Miss Lesa, LaDawn Cottongim, and Sister Abercrombie (and genealogy too).
12. I'm grateful for the YW program of the church. I loved being secretary of the Beehive class, and loved loved loved going to ward dances!
13. I'm grateful for the home I was brought up in. We moved to a larger house when I was in 7th grade. We had ample room. We had order. My parents loved beauty and peace.
14. I'm grateful for stake dances, the dance festival, and drill team, and especially seminary. Uncomparable teachers like Bishop Campbell and Bishop Layton!!! Remember being taught to rehearse potential situations of peer pressure and how I would react. Also personal interviews with Brother Layton. He asked about future goals, one of which was marriage. When he asked where, I didn't know how to answer, because to me, marriage meant temple marriage. I couldn't conceive of marriage outside the temple. All I could think was, how do I know which temple I'll be closest to when I get engaged?
15. I'm grateful for wonderful loving friends like Tricia Matthews and Lotte Hass, and later, Michelle Lesue.
16. I'm grateful my parents let me grow into greater responsibility, and saw that I was trained. I got a driver's license when I was 17.
17. I'm grateful to have a gift for learning and understanding languages like French and Latin. I had great teachers like Mr. Chandler.
18. I'm Grateful to have been accepted as a freshman student by BYU, with 3 scholarships.
19. I'm Grateful to have been taught by wonderful thoughtful spiritually-led professors like Eugene England.
20. I'm Grateful to have met and married my sweetheart in the Salt Lake City temple.
21. I'm Grateful to have born our first son, a spiritual leader.
22. I'm Grateful to have met wonderful friends (Kent and Keisha H) and to have served in callings in our Wymount ward.
23. I'm Grateful to have a romantic husband who swept me away for an anniversary getaway.
24. I'm Grateful to have born another son, a bold and daring leader of independence.
25. I'm Grateful to have had nurturing environments in which to bring up our family, especially the family home in Orem.
26. I'm grateful to learn more about health and the human body, for continuing education, and good doctors (Remington, Loveland)and friends (LaurieKae).
27. I'm grateful to have born a beautiful baby girl, who will greet us in Heaven someday.
28. I'm grateful to have born a beautiful bright healthy daughter who loves music and dance, and who excels.
29. I'm grateful for opportunities to grow through service, such as my primary music calling. Also having a foreign German student named Laura come and live with us, and the great opportunity of traveling around the world with my husband and baby daughter.
30. I'm grateful to have found a new home when it came our time to move away from the family home, and for good friends (Burtons and Holdens and Norrises and Swans)and a welcoming ward.
31. I'm grateful to have born another healthy beautiful daughter who loves learning, music and dance, and to have birthed at home finally.
32. I'm grateful to have performed as part of a great big community theatre family in a production of Fiddler on the Roof, and to be part of the audience and support team for other shows like Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat.
33. I'm grateful to have such a supportive extended family, who sacrifice a lot on our behalf, including wonderful in-laws, and Heidi and Matt Parker.
34. I'm grateful to community members and neighbors who served and loved our children.
35. I'm grateful for wonderful city libraries.
36. I'm grateful for the opportunity to serve as a part-time church service missionary in the Curriculum department, where I worked here a little and there a little. I enjoyed General Conference proofreading so much! The foreign language reading, and the visiting with wonderful proofreaders and editors like Carol Frasier.
37. I'm grateful to have born a beautiful healthy baby girl (whose struggles will teach me patience if it kills both of us) at home.
38. I'm grateful to have a wonderful warm and welcoming hometown to come home to, and to have found the home which I had previously seen only in a dream of promise.
39. I'm grateful to have born another beautiful healthy baby girl, a fair little Texas rose.
40. I'm grateful to have found an inspired program of rehabilitation for our rebelling teen, including AA, KCS, AIR, and the 12-step meetings at our church.
We chose to sing "Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel", a favorite old hymn that reminds us of those early days when we were younger, and when perhaps our pianist only knew a few numbers. But I was thinking about what hymns I remember singing, and I suddenly remembered we ALWAYS used to sing, "Count Your Blessings", which begins with the phrase "When upon life's billows". I love that hymn!
I'm struggling to accept my circumstances lately. I'm tempted to think that 30 years after the groundbreaking for our chapel, I'm 40 yrs old, and 50 lbs overweight, and I wonder if I'm earning a 60% grade on my life . . . so I think it's time to count my blessings, or some of them, anyway:
1. I'm grateful to be the firstborn. This ensured my position as favorite ;)
2. I'm grateful to have been born of 2 goodly parents, taught somewhat according to the learning of my parents, and enriched by the teachings they encountered later.
3. I'm grateful that when I was 3, my parents joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Grateful to those dedicated missionaries and Flo Agee, our sweet neighbor, who knew the Truth.
4. I'm grateful that when I was 4, we were sealed in the Salt Lake City Temple.
5. I'm grateful that at the age of 5, I started attending school, a private kindergarten held in the home of my teacher, Mrs. Harris. I already knew how to read, thanks to #2.
6. I'm grateful to be one of 6 blessed children of our parents.
7. I'm grateful we moved to our hometown when I was almost 7 years old.
8. I'm grateful to have been baptized and to have received the gift of the Holy Ghost when I was 8 years old.
9. I'm grateful to have had fabulous gospel teachers, such as Esther Peterson. I loved the scripture chases, and memorizing Bible verses. Sister Peterson encouraged us to pick our own favorite verses. I chose Matthew 7:7 when I was 8 or 9 years old. Thanks Dad (Sunday School President)for making sure I got to have Sis. Peterson as my teacher for 2 years in a row :)
10. I'm grateful to have had wonderful school teachers, like Mrs. Hicks, Pearson, Longtain, Greer, Kohlmaier and Franer.
11. I'm grateful to have taken lots of lessons in dance and piano from wonderful teachers like Miss Lesa, LaDawn Cottongim, and Sister Abercrombie (and genealogy too).
12. I'm grateful for the YW program of the church. I loved being secretary of the Beehive class, and loved loved loved going to ward dances!
13. I'm grateful for the home I was brought up in. We moved to a larger house when I was in 7th grade. We had ample room. We had order. My parents loved beauty and peace.
14. I'm grateful for stake dances, the dance festival, and drill team, and especially seminary. Uncomparable teachers like Bishop Campbell and Bishop Layton!!! Remember being taught to rehearse potential situations of peer pressure and how I would react. Also personal interviews with Brother Layton. He asked about future goals, one of which was marriage. When he asked where, I didn't know how to answer, because to me, marriage meant temple marriage. I couldn't conceive of marriage outside the temple. All I could think was, how do I know which temple I'll be closest to when I get engaged?
15. I'm grateful for wonderful loving friends like Tricia Matthews and Lotte Hass, and later, Michelle Lesue.
16. I'm grateful my parents let me grow into greater responsibility, and saw that I was trained. I got a driver's license when I was 17.
17. I'm grateful to have a gift for learning and understanding languages like French and Latin. I had great teachers like Mr. Chandler.
18. I'm Grateful to have been accepted as a freshman student by BYU, with 3 scholarships.
19. I'm Grateful to have been taught by wonderful thoughtful spiritually-led professors like Eugene England.
20. I'm Grateful to have met and married my sweetheart in the Salt Lake City temple.
21. I'm Grateful to have born our first son, a spiritual leader.
22. I'm Grateful to have met wonderful friends (Kent and Keisha H) and to have served in callings in our Wymount ward.
23. I'm Grateful to have a romantic husband who swept me away for an anniversary getaway.
24. I'm Grateful to have born another son, a bold and daring leader of independence.
25. I'm Grateful to have had nurturing environments in which to bring up our family, especially the family home in Orem.
26. I'm grateful to learn more about health and the human body, for continuing education, and good doctors (Remington, Loveland)and friends (LaurieKae).
27. I'm grateful to have born a beautiful baby girl, who will greet us in Heaven someday.
28. I'm grateful to have born a beautiful bright healthy daughter who loves music and dance, and who excels.
29. I'm grateful for opportunities to grow through service, such as my primary music calling. Also having a foreign German student named Laura come and live with us, and the great opportunity of traveling around the world with my husband and baby daughter.
30. I'm grateful to have found a new home when it came our time to move away from the family home, and for good friends (Burtons and Holdens and Norrises and Swans)and a welcoming ward.
31. I'm grateful to have born another healthy beautiful daughter who loves learning, music and dance, and to have birthed at home finally.
32. I'm grateful to have performed as part of a great big community theatre family in a production of Fiddler on the Roof, and to be part of the audience and support team for other shows like Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat.
33. I'm grateful to have such a supportive extended family, who sacrifice a lot on our behalf, including wonderful in-laws, and Heidi and Matt Parker.
34. I'm grateful to community members and neighbors who served and loved our children.
35. I'm grateful for wonderful city libraries.
36. I'm grateful for the opportunity to serve as a part-time church service missionary in the Curriculum department, where I worked here a little and there a little. I enjoyed General Conference proofreading so much! The foreign language reading, and the visiting with wonderful proofreaders and editors like Carol Frasier.
37. I'm grateful to have born a beautiful healthy baby girl (whose struggles will teach me patience if it kills both of us) at home.
38. I'm grateful to have a wonderful warm and welcoming hometown to come home to, and to have found the home which I had previously seen only in a dream of promise.
39. I'm grateful to have born another beautiful healthy baby girl, a fair little Texas rose.
40. I'm grateful to have found an inspired program of rehabilitation for our rebelling teen, including AA, KCS, AIR, and the 12-step meetings at our church.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Looking for Jesus
Today Louella (3) said that I had Heaven inside of me, that everyone has Heaven inside of them, and that this Heaven inside each one of us is looking for Jesus.
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